Can't Shoot This
by Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar
Summary: This is what happens when you put 2 half devils and 2 japanese girls together in a haunted village. Partly based off Fatal FrameII: Crimson Butterfly. Only Mid-Evil things can come from this.
1. Paper Shredders and Nobunaga

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Ok, so this is a parody of Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly. It stars Dante, Vergil, and 2 random Japanese girls. And once again, the brilliant mind of Saphira946 is involved as well, so kudos to her. So, on with the story. Enjoy, loves :3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or no one 'cept the 2 Japanese girls named Saki and Momo. But, I secretly own Vergil 'cause I'm kewl like dat, yoཀཀཀ

Saphira946: You ain't kewl. Pete Wentz is kewll, with 2 Ls.

Pink: Ish Peteཀཀཀo

It was an ordinary day, in an ordinary Spring, in some random ordinary city with ordinary people and monsters. Secretly, Dante didn't even know what city they lived in, so like the good and annoying little brother his father taught him to be. He asked his older brother, Vergil or Verge as he called him. Pissed the hell out of him to.

"Hey Verge, what city do we live in?"he asked. Vergil looked up from his Sudoku book and said with a sigh. "For the . . ."he counted on a piece of paper. "5,656,454th time this week. We are supposed to live in New York."he said irritably.

"Really? Hmm, it feels and looks more like Detroit or Bolivia."

"Do you even know where and what Bolivia is?"Vergil asked. Dante didn't even know how to use the stove when he had to cook a frozen pizza 'cause a shortage of Fuji disposable cameras in Seoul, South Korea stopped people in New York from going to Mario Brother's Pizzeria and others such as Papa John's, Dominos, and Pizza Hut. Anyway, back to the present. After some long deliberation on Dante's part which consisted of scratching his ass and answering a prank call, he finally said something. "Of course I know what Bolivia is. It's where you take a heavy ass ball and throw it at some weird ass thingies. It's like knitting, but a lot harder. I remember Dad what's 'is face used to do that."Dante felt so proud of himself for knowing something Vergil didn't.

"Moron."Vergil muttered.

"What?"

"Moron. As in you."after a little pause. "Bolivia isn't like bowling...or like knitting. Bolivia is a country in the Andes State."Dante scratched his head like the monkey at the zoo.

"Whatever."so with that he went back to his Wonder Woman comic book. A few hours later...

"Hey Vergil, what city do we live in?"Dante asked... again. Vergil made another tally mark on the sheet of paper. 5,657,455 times this week and it wasn't even noon yet and it was only Tuesday. Vergil sighed and turned to his dim-witted and common sense lacking brother.

"Dante. Please shut up. We live in New York. Not Detroit, Annapolis, Anaheim, or Bolivia."he turned back to see a Billy Goat eating his Sudoku book.

"Oh yeah. I kinda bought a goat for you as an early Hanukkah present."Dante said smiling.

"Dante, we aren't Jewish and this is May. Hanukkah is in December. And, I don't think you get gifts on Hanukkah."Vergil said looking away from the goat in disgust. It was taking a piss on Beowulf.

"NOOOOOOOཀཀཀ"Beowulf yelled as the goat started to chew on him.

"Damn you, son a Spartaཀ I shall have my revengeཀ I'll put something horrible in your shampoo or something to that effect."Dante and Vergil just stared at him. The door swung open as Dante was about to say something. It was Enzo.

"Guysཀ I have a job for youཀ"he yelled right in Vergil's ear.

"What is it?"Dante asked excited.

"This creepy guy came to me and told me he needed a couple of strong hunters to take care of some creatures or something. I couldn't really understand him. He kept on speaking in Asianese. Anyway, the place is the lost Village of All Gods Village in some creepy and dangerous forest village past some twin deities that are supposed to trap you in the village if you pass them.Villageཀཀཀ Well, have fun and don't get killed or anything."Enzo said as he ran out the door and heard an, "Owཀ"as Enzo ran into the recycling bin that really needed to be moved, but both brothers were a little too lazy to get up and move it, though they could easily destroy it.

"Well, let's get going."Dante said as he got his coat on and grabbed Ebony, Ivory, and Rebellion.

"Wait, Dante. This job seems kinda odd."Vergil said trying to make sense of what the man had told Enzo.

"What do you mean?"Dante asked, looking at all of his Devil Arms.

"For starters, Enzo didn't even tell us how much money we get. Another thing, it's supposed to be in a lost village, it's supposed to be very dangerous and creepy in the forest were it lies, plus, did you not hear when he said there were some twin deities that if you pass them, you become trapped in the village. Are you not concerned at all?"Vergil asked.

"Dude, are you scared?"Dante asked, smugly. Vergil humphed and replied. "Of course not. I just find it a bit strange, is all."

"Sure."Dante said simply as he grabbed Yamato and dragged Vergil out of Devil May Cry.

Vergil was now standing alone by the twin deities. Dante had run after Wynona Rider.

**Flashback . . .**

_They had just arrived at the entrance to the forest._

"_Thank you -san for the ride-san. Mr. Cabdriver-san."Dante said slowly giving the man some money. The man just stared at Dante and replied. "You're welcome and work on your Japanese. It sucks_._"the cab sped down the road and soon was chased by a police car._

"_Well, shall we go."Dante more along the lines of stated and not asked. Vergil knew from experience that Dante wouldn't pass up the opportunity for some violence and demon blood shed. As they walked down the man made path towards All Gods Village, they started seeing signs. Not signs for Poky, which made Vergil sad. He loved Poky, his favorite flavor being blackberry. Anyway, Dante read the sign aloud. "Go back. Danger ahead. For more information about the lost village please call 558-265-1158 and ask for Nobunaga Oda. No it's not the same one that got killed in 1582 at Honnoji_._ His mother had an unhealthy obsession with Nobunaga and called him that. Her Chinchila's name is No."_

"_Who's you're a pack o' okra."Dante couldn't say his name._

"_His name is No-Bu-Na-Ga O-da."Vergil said slowly so Dante wouldn't get a headache trying to understand the complicated Japanese name that was really simple._

"_C'mon, Dante. Let's get this over with."so they walked on until they came to another sign an hour later. This time Dante made Vergil read it. _

" _Reader beware, you're in for a scare. Unless you can't read. Then you're just plain screwed. People don't live in the lost village. They all died and are now haunting the place. If you come to slay demons because, your_ _informant is an Italian retard and was tricked by the ghost of a man who got caught in the paper shredder in the office of the head priest. You've been warned. Have a nice visit to All Gods Village."wow these signs were extremely messed up. Vergil heard sniffling coming from beside him. He looked at Dante and saw he was crying._

"_That poor man. Those damn paper shredders will be the downfall of humanity."Dante growled._

"_Uh... Ok?"Vergil was a bit skeptical about whether or not Dante was the more sane one. Actually the only sane one was Agni and he likes Hamtaro. So, that says something about the family and the things associated the family. Soon, ok it was like 3 or 4 hours later. They came to their final sign. Which was right by the twin deities._

"_Ok, this is the last time I'm gonna tell ya to go back and make an honest living selling porn magazines at the local Friends 'N' Lovers. If you pass these deities, you're not gonna come back. But, if you're dead set on getting the handsome reward from the paper shredder ghost, named Horus. Then by all means. Go and get yourself killed. Oh and be sure to visit the gift shop before you die."Wynona Rider happened by and read the sign for them. They stood there for 15 minutes playing Japanese rock, paper, nuts (even though Wynona had none), trying to figure out who would read.(the one who loses gets to read)_

"_Check to make sure you have everything you brought with you."Vergil said as he checked his pockets. Yep, he had his wallet, Yamato, and a pack of Orbit gum._

"_No."Dante said sadly._

"_What?"Vergil asked, instantly regretting it._

"_She took my PSP__ཀ"__Dante yelled running past the deities. Vergil looked up at the sky and asked. "It was a trap wasn't it?"_

"_Damn right."Morgan Freeman said. Wow, he really was god._

**End Flashback. . .**

So, yeah. Now you know what happened. Vergil sighed and ran after Dante who had only made it about 8 or 9 feet in past the deities when he got his hair tangled on a branch on a tree that reminded him of Milla Jovovich for some odd reason. So, he untangled Dante and they resumed their trek to, what Vergil hoped was Dante's fate and not his.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: So, what do you think? Good or bad?

Saphira946: I thought it was nice. Why Wynona Rider and Milla Jovovich?

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Dunno, I was listening to Amish Paradise.

Saphira946: Oh, that explains it.

Vergil: Message them or I shall gut a fish and slap you with it's bladder.

_P.S. From Vergil: I was paid to say that._

Dante: No you weren't (Now Vergil tackles Dante and they dissapear in a cartoonly smoke cloud.)

Insert random profanities and the occasional fist and/or foot


	2. Miguel the Goat Eater

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Ok, well Happy Halloween. When, I post this it really won't be Halloween, but oh well. Ok, I'm working on a thousand things at once. Metaphorically speaking of course. It just seems like a thousand 'cause it's hard to keep track of all the crap. Anyway, plz enjoy. . . . Uh, Saphira, this is where you usually come in and put your 2 cents into the story... Saphira? Hold up a sec.

walks away from computer

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Ok, found her eating all my hard earned candy.

Saphira946: Hard earned?

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Yes, hard earned. I walked all over to get that bit of sugary sweetness and you just walked to 2 friends houses..

Saphira946: So?

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: --whatever.

Saphira946: Enjoy and don't forget to leave a tip. Some Snickers or Reese's would do just fine. Especially the Reese's .

Disclaimer: Neither me or Saphira own Capcom. We tried to take it from them last X-mas while everyone was too drunk on the 'egg nog' to care whether or not they were pissing on a fire hydrant or if they were drop kicking a Chihuahua over a fence. They had security that was semi-sober. Eh, we'll just spike the 'egg nog' some more.

The brothers had finally made it to the village after some delays...

**Saphira946: Oh, I just love flashbacks****ཀཀཀ **

_Vergil was making his way slowly to the village. Slowly you ask? Well, you see Dante was being slow as usual. Dante was on the phone. Now, they could practically pull any type of weapon from their derrieres, but in all his... many years of life. He could never pull something so useless out of it before. It's just like Resident Evil characters pulling rocket launchers from the magical, never ending abyss that was one's hindquarters. Very talented they are. Now, you may also be wondering who and why Dante would be calling. Dante was checking delays at the Zimbabwe International Airport._

"_Damn it__ཀ"__Dante cursed._

"_What?"Vergil sighed._

"_Hurricane Miguel strikes again."Dante replied._

"_Hurricane Miguel?"did Vergil want to know what he was talking about._

"_Yeah, they name each and every Hurricane, except this one. Dunno why. So, since Zimbabwe is close to Mexico I named it Miguel."Vergil actually laughed at this one. Apparently Dante had never played Cabela's Dangerous Hunts._

"_Dante, my... my... uhh... my only and not so favorite little brother. Zimbabwe is nowhere near Mexico."Dante looked as if the entire population of Chihuahua, Mexico had been wiped out because of their insufficient water treatment system._

"_Ok, then where is it, Mr. I-think-I-know-the-price-of-coffee?"_

"_Well, it depends on what brand you get. Anyway, Zimbabwe is a country in South Africa. Mexico is in Central America."_

"_Ok, then where did I go last year for Spring Break?"Dante looked well, his normal confused self._

"_That was Cabo, Brazil."Vergil replied, sensing his impending migraine._

'_Great and I didn't bring my poky and Tylenol.'Vergil thought with an anime sweat drop._

"_Really, I thought I went to El Chupicabra."Dante scratched his head in thought._

"_..."Vergil knows the language of the dots._

"_Vergil, you ok?"Dante asked his quiet brother._

"_El Chupicabra is a mythical monster in Mexico."Vergil simply replied coming to the Village entrance._

**END FLASHBACK**

And that's how it took them so long to get to the village. Ok, actually it took them like 20 or 30 minutes to get here, but that was too long for Vergil's liking. The delays at the airport really got them, well it really got Dante. Vergil still didn't know why Dante needed to know something that silly, but hey, who cares.

"So, this is All Gods Village, eh?"Dante asked, being Canadian again.

"Yes, Dante. The welcome sign said so."

"There was a sign?"Dante really needed to play more attention.

"Turn around stupidཀཀཀ . . . . . VILLAGEཀཀཀ"

"Did you just hear Enzo?"Vergil asked

"Nope, you must be hearing things or something."Dante replied. Vergil nodded and read the sign. "Well, it looks like you made it to the village. Good for you... NOTཀཀཀ Listen it's too late to turn back now. So, you gotta find a bunch of keys, some books, files, oh and get this. You have to solve . . . PUZZLESཀཀཀ Just so you can escape through this sealed up underground passage in the Temple. I'm sure, if you're a Devil Hunter. You can easily break through it with your Russian Rocket Launcher or your German Lugers. Go get 'em Champ."

"Sounds fun."Dante commented. His mind wondered as he began to look around for a place to go to the little boys room. He found a couple of funny looking see-through villagers walking towards them with poles and torches.

"Hey, excuse meཀ Do you happen to have a bathroom in this village?"Dante asked, this time not putting san after every other word.They didn't respond. They began to murmur Asianese gibberish.

"I'm sorry. I don't know if Elton John is in a gay parade."Dante said backing up and leaping behind Vergil for protection. He was afraid of Elton John. He liked George Michaels. They murmured some more and more like floated closer and closer until one lashed out at Vergil and the pointy stick pole thing went right through the both of them.

"Owwwwཀ"Dante cried falling on his butt and crying like the baby Vergil always accused him of being. Vergil just went all Devil Trigger and kicked their assess.

"They're invincible. They can't be beatཀ"Vergil growled as he kicked one in the 7th vertebra. That kick should have shattered it.

"Why is he even still alive?"Dante yelled. He was running around in a circle, while the immortal villagers watched, not even noticing Vergil trying to chop them up with Yamato.

"Back fowl Ghostsཀ"a female voice rang through the air followed by a flash of light.

"Now I'm blindཀཀཀ"Dante yelled in a girly voice, rubbing his eyes until they were as red a fire truck.

"Dante... you're fine."Vergil sighed. Dante slowly opened his eyes and smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.

"You ok?"the brothers turned to see 2 girls. One had brown hair that went a little below her shoulders and brown eyes. She wore a ankle length tan skirt, a white sweater that hung off her shoulders, and a pair of black slip on shoes. The other girl had long black hair and what looked like contacts that made her eyes red, unless she was evil. She wore black tripps pants, an Iron Maiden T-shirt, a H.I.M jacket tied around her waist, and a pair of black sneaker boots.

"Yeah, we're fine."Dante replied. The girl with the brown hair smiled and said. "Well, that's good. I'm_..._

Saphira946:Muahaha! A cliffhanger! By the way, any people reading this who have read my stories, I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a really long time. The reason for this is because I do not have the internet right now. My apologies. Also, I apologize to Spazzy. I haven't been able to review your fantastic stories. Don't worry though, as soon as I have my net back, I'm going on a story rampage to catch up with my updates and reviews.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Wow...that was a long freaking A.A.N (assistant author's note). And yes, we felt that a cliffhanger was necessary for the suspense. Also, it gives us time to think of more detail to this wacky adventure that the half dumb, dynamic, dangerous, and disastrous duo are unwillingly going on. VILLAGE!


	3. Celebrities and Illiteracy

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: I'm on a Star Ocean fix, but I shall not fail in my duties to Virgil!!

Saphira946: --

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Hey! Don't give me that look!! /

Saphira946:playing Devil May Cry4--

Disclaimer: We own nothing, not even the clothes on our backs.

Saphira946:still playing Devil May Cry4.

"I'm Saki and this is Momo."the girl with the brown hair said pointing to herself and then the other girl.

"I'm Dante and this is my big brother Virgil."Dante replied.

"What kind of camera is that?"Virgil asked.

"The Camera Mascara."Saki said holding it up.

"Uh . . . what kind of name is that?"Dante asked.

"Well, it was invented by a middle aged Japanese Emo guy like 50 or so years ago in a Wal-Mart in Philadelphia."Momo replied. She pulled something out of a random pocket. "It's all in this Journal I found in an Out house."she finished handing the damp and smelly journal to Virgil. He opened it and tried to read it, but it was in Asianese.

"I can't read this chicken scratch."Dante said from over his shoulder. He wasn't looking at the journal though. He was looking at some scratch marks on the ground.

"Those aren't chicken marks. Those are marks made by some woman that was looking for her boyfriends sister because, the bitch owned her some money to pay for her cats knee operation when it's leg got ran over by a runaway microwave cart. Some of those see-through villagers dragged her off, because she didn't have the Camera Mascara."Momo pulled something else out of another random pocket. "It's all here in this journal I found in the woman's left pants pocket on her right butt cheek, while Saki was trying to take her left shoe and put it in her right pocket on her left butt cheek."Virgil was a bit nervous about the two girls sanity.

"I don't get it."Dante said scratching his head. How could anyone get what these insane Japanese girls were saying? Virgil thought a moment, then asked. "Have you seen the paper shredder ghost?"Saki thought a moment.

"OH! No, I haven't."Saki turned to Momo. "Have you?"

"No, but I saw Kevin Bacon trying to shoot this bald guy. Saying something about Garret Hedlund killed his oldest son and wife."

(**A/N: I don't own Death Sentence. If I did. Garret's head would not have been shaved. He looks way hotter with hair and covered in sweat and dirt-**)

"Oh, I want some sausage."Dante squealed.

"These random moments of randomness aren't really getting us anywhere."Virgil said matter-o-factly.

"Yeah, that's because, Pink is stalling for time to think of something to type while she listens to High and mighty Color's song Ichirin no Hana."Saki replied smiling all goofy like and stuff. Virgil nodded.

"Ah, that's a really good band."he agreed with the authors choice of music, but then again she kinda controls what goes on. She could make Dante gay and they couldn't do a thing about it.

(**Dante: WHAT!!**)

Anyway, back to the original story. . .

"So, where do we go now?"Dante asked after hours of random walking. Funny thing is, according to Virgil's watch, which by the way was really good at keeping the correct time. It was after midnight, but the sky hadn't changed a bit at all.

"That's what happens in horror video games. It don't change to day until you beat the game, but then sometimes that don't even happen."Virgil said all logical and stuff. Momo, Saki, and Dante just stared at him.

"We need to find this huge door that leads to the Head Master's house."Saki said.

"What do they look like?"Dante asked.

"They're all big and wooden like. You know, like a door."Momo replied.

"OMG! They sound just like doors!"Dante screeched. Both Dante and Momo started jumping up and down.

So, the race to find the wooden and big doors that reminded Dante of doors began.

"I can't find them!"Dante whined as he sat infront of a pair of giant wooden doors.

"I know they're around here somewhere, but I just can't put my finger on it."he sighed and looked at the others.

"You got any ideas?"he asked. Vergil just stared straight ahead.

"There is something I have to tell you, but I can't figure out what it is I have to say."Saki said trying her best to think straight.

"Does it have to do with the large doors that look all wooden and locked behind him?"Momo asked. Saki shook her head.

"No . . . It has to do with the wooden doors behind Dante."Saki replied. She thought a moment more.

"Light Bulb!"she squealed. "The doors we are looking for are right behind you."Dante looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Found 'em!"he yelled.

"I thought I found 'em."Saki thought scratching her head.

"So . . . you gonna open them?"Momo asked. Dante walked up to them and pulled and then pushed, but nothing happened.

"Nothing happened."Momo stated the obvious.

"Perhaps we have to unlock it."Vergil sighed and began looking for keys. Saki smiled and followed.

"Light Bulb!"she yelled.

"What now?"Virgil asked looking under some random femur bone he found in a bowl of dried up sake.

"Maybe we should follow those pretty crimson butterflies. They seem to know something about these doors."Saki said.

"Why do you say that?"Dante asked.

"Cause, they keep pointing that direction and yelling for us stupid living people to follow them."so Saki and Momo began running after the butterflies. Problem was, Dante and Virgil didn't see any butterflies.

"I want some of what they're snorting."Virgil said jogging after to two frighteningly chipper girls.

'_Wow, most girls in this situation wouldn't be so happy._'Virgil thought.

"Hey! We found a funny looking key and it has some writing on it!"Momo yelled.

"What does the writing say?"Dante asked.

"I dunno. I can't read Japanese."Momo replied like they didn't know that. Oh wait . . . they didn't :)

"You're Japanese, but you can't read Japanese?"Dante was even smart about that one.

"It's not called Japanese. It's called Kanji and yes, though we are Japanese. We can in fact not read Japanese."Saki said defensively.

"But, you told us it was called Kanji."Dante whined, getting scared for some reason.

"Well, you have to call it Kanji. We can call it Japanese."Momo said with an evil smile.

"But, I though since we weren't Japanese. We had to Americanize it and call it Japanese. While, you had to Asianize it and call it Kanji."Virgil inquired.

"Well, we are 1/16th of a thousand part from Zimbabwe."Momo said taking out a little leather book. She opened it and flipped through it until she must have found the page she needed.

"See."she held the book up to Virgil's and Dante's face. Sure enough, Saki and Momo were at the top with . . . Jackie Chan!? And, way, way, way, way underneath them was the Prime Minister of Ancient China, Zhuge Liang, who apparently was reincarnated and is now the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe.

"Wow, I didn't know Zimbabwe had a Prime Minister. I though man eating skunk people ruled with Honda Civics."Dante said looking at a totally different page.

"Huh?"Mom asked looking at the page he was looking at.

"Oh. That's ... uh... Do you know what it is, Saki?"she asked. Saki looked at it.

"Yeah, it's Axel Rose's plan for World Domination. See, it says so right here."Saki said so. At the top of the _**REALLY**_ bad drawing of skunk people riding in Honda Civics, was Axel Rose's Plan for World Domination. Momo nodded.

"Oh, ok. I told them not to let him out of the backwoods abortion clinic closet, but they don't listen to a girl who's name means peach."Momo sighed.

"That's such a shame!! I like your name, Molotov!!"Dante cried. Mom cried along with him.

"My name's Momo!!"Vergil sighed.

"So, are we going to follow Remington and Winchester to the next key?"Saki asked.

"Remington and Winchester? Aren't those names of guns?"Vergil asked.

"Yes. They told me that they were the creators of the Remington and Winchester and that in 1984, during a Motley Crue concert. They wondered off and ended up here. They aren't related so I don't know why they did the Crimson Sacrifice on 'em."Saki said as she gave the crying Dante a piggy back ride to the next key.

There they stood... outside of the janitors closet of All God's Village Elementary School.

(A/N: They had a school? Wow, I've played the game about 4 or 5 times and I never saw one. Wow, my imagination is a wondrous gift... Hiho Silver away and back to the story!!)

Anyway... They had to go into the Janitors closet in order to get the key.

"I'm not going in there!!"Dante squealed.

_**Flashback...(Saphira946: So, you return, Flashback!!)**_

_A little 10 year old Dante was walking along the hall next to the freeway in that one Elementary School his mother sent him to because, he wouldn't stop trying to flush the neighbors Komodo Dragon down the toilet. It was a nice school with barred windows, security guards, and evil looking Chihuahuas wearing army fatigues. Anyway, he was walking down the hall and had just gotten to the Janitors closet, when he heard something. It sounded like click clacks of some sort. Dante hesitantly turned the knob and opened the door. What he saw horrified him beyond belief._

_There he was, Sparda the Dark Knight, playing Go with one of the Chihuahuas._

"_Dad!! How could you cheat on mom!! You know damn well that she's your Game Night partner. And I thought you didn't believe in old Japanese board games that only involved to players and a series of clacks. Aren't you lack clack intolerant?"Dante asked._

"_Son... there comes a time in every man's life where he has to drop out of clown college and play one game of Go before becoming a KGB member."Sparda said turning back to his game. The Chihuahua, who we shall name Mojito, looked at Dante with his little beady eyes and clucked. _

"_Huh?"Dante asked as the door magically slammed in his face, rendering him incoherent for the time being because the door splintered on his head and he got a couple splinters in his liver. _

_**End Flashback**_...

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Yay, Iz gotz anotherz chapterz donez. Saphira!! Were iz Meine Gummi Vormz!!

Saphira946: Ummm, in Germany were I think you need to be because you seem to be developing a fetish for Z's amd V'z.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: JA!!


	4. BiPolar entities and Llamas To Boot

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: I love the Death Note opening for the 2nd season. It's so entertaining :)uhh, anyway, welcome to chapter 4 of Can't Shoot This. I'm currently very bored. So, bored in fact that I've memorized the entirety of Resident Evil: Extinction. I 3 Mikey!!

Mikey:currently dead:)I'm loved!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!! God, I hate being 17. I can't own nothing. Next year I'll able to though.plots evil plan to own things:D Bawk!!

Ok, after some counseling from Dr. Phil, Dante was able to at least touch the door knob before he squealed like a Koala and fainted. Vergil just shook his head.

"No more Kangaroo Jack before bedtime."he whispered as he stepped over Dante's seizing body and walked into the Janitor's closet. Looking around, he found nothing of great use or importance. There was a loud crash from behind and a manly scream. Vergil whipped around and noticed Saki rolling around on the floor laughing, while Momo's hand was sticking up from under a huge stack of heavy porno magazines. Vergil sighed and went to help the distraught Japanese girl. Momo flushed with anger as Saki continued to laugh.

"Stop!! I know it's funny, but you don't have to laugh out loud!!"Momo yelled before turning and smacking her face into the door frame and then stumbling over Dante as she ran out of the closet. Saki finally composed herself and wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"THAT was FUNNY."she sighed.

"I may not care about you or Momo, or pretty much any of this. But, wasn't that a bit mean?"Vergil asked. Saki stared at him.

"Stop telling the truth."she said.

"What?"Vergil asked.

"Well, it's in all the major horror movies and video games, where someone has to be the hater and hate everyone, everything, and skittles. But, they would never admit it, until they felt it was time."Saki replied looking at him like he should have known this bit of very much odd information.

"Is still don't get it. Were aren't in a video game."Vergil tried to wrap his mind around the Japanese girl's words, but it just didn't fit.

After getting what ever they went to the school to get, I forgot what it was. They woke Dante up with a kick to the funny bone and left to search out Momo. As soon as they exited the school they were met with a sight. Momo was playing twister with some kind of ghost. Why some kind, you ask? Well, it was just a black shadow, but it had a voice and you could tell it was female. One of the weird see through villagers was the one with the spinny board thing.

"Weft fwoot gween."it said in it's weird Asianese accent. Their left feet went to the nearest green. The black shadow laughed maniacally and tripped Momo. Momo fell and disappeared.

"Ha beotch! Your soul is MINE!!"it yelled with a sadistic air to it. She noticed the human and half-demon brothers and smiled, waving crazily.

"Hello! My name is Ai! Who are you?"she asked, floating up to them.

"My name is Saki! Nice to meet you Ai."Saki replied with a squeal.

"The name is Dante. You have a boyfriend?"he asked. Ai looked at him and started crying.

"Why are you acting like this? All I want is an honest friend, but you have to go and turn it into something dirty and perverted!"she bawled, but smiled and turned to Vergil.

"Who the fuck are you, homo?!"she screeched. Dante laughed, which made Ai laugh as well. Vergil was the only one who could tell this ... thing was most likely bi-polar.

"This is Vergil."Saki said with a smile. Ai glomped him, but then began petting his hair saying. "God you're so beautiful. I just wanna make paranormal Japanese love to you."With that she proceeded to lick his cheek.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Yes, I know I killed of Momo. She was based off of Saphira946, but I no longer like her. So instead, my friend Kriptic (formally known as cript) will be in here. She's the bi-polar shadowy entity known as Ai which is love for Japanese

Kriptic: Why me?

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: Because I said so, plus I was going to make you a bi-polar llama ghost, but decided not to. Be happy!!

Kriptic: I see. Well in that case. I think I'd rather be a bi-polar llama ghost.

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: --' you just don't get it, do you?

Kriptic: Get what, Pink?

Pink.Ninjas.Of.Midgar: I don't know. I'll think of something later. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and be on the look out for more.


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